Quick reads. Big laughs. Small moments from our warband’s daily chaos. These bite-sized slices capture the absurd, heartwarming, and hilarious moments that happen when six disasters try to function as a team.
ALL IN A DAY’S WORK#
The Currency Lesson
Vyrneese discovered credit yesterday. She now understands you can buy things without immediate payment.
“So I can have ANYTHING?” she asked, eyes sparkling.
“No,” Brass said flatly. “That’s called debt. We discussed this.”
“But the nice gnome said I was pre-approved for 10,000 gold—”
Brass ripped up the credit application. “That gnome is why I drink.”
Three hours of financial literacy training followed. Vyr still doesn’t understand interest rates, but she knows the look Brass gives means “absolutely not.”
HUMOR IN UNIFORM#
The Void’s Fashion Advice
Zyneese adjusting her glasses: “The void says these boots are last season.”
Brasskeese: “The void needs to shut up about your shopping.”
Zy: “The void whispers existential dread AND style criticism. It’s multifaceted.”
Brass: “The void is why we’re broke.”
Zy: “The void says you’re just jealous of my excellent taste.”
Brass: “The void is getting muted if it doesn’t contribute to rent.”
The void, apparently, had no comment.
QUOTABLE QUOTES#
Historical Perspective
“I remember when this was all ocean.” —Vyrneese, 20,000-year-old warrior, explaining why she doesn’t trust beaches
“I remember when you could buy a house for three silver.” —Reyneese, 2,000-year-old priest, explaining inflation to confused millennials
“I remember last Tuesday.” —Brasskeese, 58-year-old goblin, explaining why she’s the only one who pays bills on time
THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS#
The Hug Incident
Lulureese’s personal space radius: zero feet.
Yesterday’s hug victims:
- A city guard (surprised but accepting)
- Three vendors (one gave her free fruit)
- An enemy faction member (now deeply confused about protocol)
- A stone gargoyle (optimistic)
When Brass asked why she hugged the gargoyle, Lulu said: “He looked lonely!”
“It’s STONE.”
“Lonely STONE.”
We can’t argue with that logic. Nobody can.
LIFE’S LIKE THAT#
Reading Material
Found Avelreese reading romance novels behind her tactics manual.
“It’s… research,” she stammered.
“For what?” I asked.
“Strategic… interpersonal… diplomacy?”
The book was titled The Rogue’s Passionate Bargain.
Later discovered Reyneese, Zyneese, AND Brasskeese reading the same series.
We now have Thursday book club.
Nobody admits why we started it.
Everyone shows up.